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The Bitch Rules

By on January 10, 2016 in Just for FUN! with 0 Comments

“Bad Bitch Definition: A self-respected, strong female who has everything together. That consists of body, mind, finances, and swagger. Also, a female who does and gets hers by any means necessary.”

One night years ago, I had an interesting text message exchange with a friend…

  • Me: You know what is funny? Ms. X is not smart enough to pull off being a bitch.
  • Friend: What do you mean by not smart enough?
  • Me: Meaning, some women can get away with being a bitch. Either they are really beautiful, really smart, or both. Since she lacks brains, her bitchiness is just annoying. She can’t pull it off.
  • Friend: I get that. In that little clip you sent me, all she sounded like was a mean girl stuck in high school.
  • Me: There is nothing smart about her bitchiness. She’s just annoying.
  • Friend: Yes! It totally dumbs her down.
  • Me: You can’t be a mean girl in high school if you are not hot. You can’t be a mean girl when you’re an adult if you aren’t smart.
  • Friend: Ha! Tell her the rules tomorrow. She clearly doesn’t know them. Why do I feel a blog post coming on about this topic? LOL. There are so many bitches out there who just don’t know the rules. You would be helping all of us. It would be hilarious.

Have you ever encountered a bitch? Maybe you are the bitch? The term has such a negative connotation. Sometimes a strong, intellectual woman may be called a bitch just for having a voice. Kudos to her for standing up for what she believes in. There is the bitch in the corner office, who worked her butt off to get there and stay there. You go, girl. I respect you for being assertive and going after what you wanted. There is the woman who other females refer to as a bitch because she is smoking hot and men love her. Why be jealous? She’s not a bitch. She’s beautiful. Then there is the wanna-a-be bitch, who just comes off as plain annoying and mean. She lacks intelligence. She lacks beauty. She lacks drive or anything a real bitch can pull off. I roll my eyes at that “bitch.”

The Bitch Rules

  1. You have to be hot.
  2. You have to be intelligent.
  3. You have to have self-respect.
  4. You have to be confident.
  5. You have attitude to pull it off.


There are the hot girls. Some are sweet; some are mean. They can be a bitch because of their beauty. People are more tolerant of a pretty face and nice body — at any age. It’s a fact of life; get over it.


When a woman matures, she better have a quick tongue and a wealth of knowledge. Bright women have the brains to outsmart others, allowing their bitchiness to ooze out gracefully.


A bitch has to respect herself. The way she perceives herself is how she will project herself to others. Thus, if she lacks self-respect, no one else will respect her either.


A bitch has to exude confidence. How can a woman be a bitch if she is dripping with insecurity? Again, what she projects is what will be mirrored back to her.


With the right attitude, a bitch commands power to get what she wants. If you don’t have the brains, and you don’t have the looks, don’t try being a bitch. You will only leave those around you with a bad taste in their mouth.

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